Today in yoga class a young mother mentioned she was having challenges with her middle child. The child preferred to be au-natural instead of donning clothes. The mother was quite distressed over the situation and the child who continuously challenged her. It made me think back to the parenting classes I taught when I was in grad school. The philosophy of the community center was to teach parents how to be firm, fair and consistent. After 18 years of parenting four children, I believe this gives one a great foundation to start the parenting process.
Additionally, I would include giving an appropriate set of choices to a challenging child so they feel like they have some control of their environment. This also allows them to practice the habit of making good choices.
Lastly, I believe that phases of life continuously flow allowing us and those we love to grow. I have seen cycles, like the “terrible twos” and “challenging teens” come and thankfully go. Knowing this gives me insight with my fourth child that I didn’t have with my first. The way I approached parenting has grown and evolved because I now have a bird’s eye view perspective of the phases of childhood. This is so different from sitting in it being consumed by it.
Life has taught me that just when I can’t take anymore of the challenging behavior things shift, growth happens and we are on the other side of “it”, laughing at the way it was… thank goodness!
What if you could look at your life the way a parent looks at their child’s life?
When you have goals that don’t seem to come to fruition or you wish that your behaviors matched your goals (like losing weight, staying organized or following your passion), what if you knew it was a cycle that would eventually pass. What if you could help your circumstance by being firm, fair and consistent? What if you gave yourself choices that set you up for success instead of failure?
Let me give you an easy example. I often hear of people trying to lose weight, get their head & home organized or begin to follow their passion. Similar to a New Year’s resolution, they start off totally pumped up to follow through but then fall short after the initial excitement and motivation dissipate. Have you ever made a promise to yourself but didn’t follow through? Do you ever act knowing that you could be making better choices? In the end feeling frustrated and stressed about the decisions you have made. Looking at the situation from a bird’s eye view easily prevents this and gives you the emotional space to make better choices. Take a deep breath and step back from the situation. What is the cycle or habitual pattern that you are noticing in your behavior?
Can you set yourself up for success by coming up with actionable choices that help you move in the direction of your goal? Give yourself multiple choices so that you don’t get frustrated with a lack of options. For example, if you are trying to lose weight what are a few healthy snack choices that you can turn to when you are feeling hungry? If you are trying to organize your home, what are 3 areas you can work on that will keep you on track and not feeling overwhelmed? Or, if you want to follow your bliss, what are 3 things you can begin to do that will keep you on track? Having a variety of options will quell the natural rebellious tendencies of your inner-child.
Realizing that you go through cycles and phases in life can take the stress out of daily living. Knowing that these cycles are a natural part of growth and development can help you to take a deep breath and disengage the small voice inside your head sending you messages of anxiety. There is a reason for the saying, “This to shall pass”.
Next, giving yourself a few options to take action can begin the momentum forward helping you create the life, home and business you wish to create. Turning to the same positive actionable step can help you to turn these positive behaviors into life-affirming habits that will allow you to move through your life with ease and grace.
Lastly, be firm, fair and consistent with yourself.
Firm: Set goals you will stick to
Fair: Be realistic with your expectations
Consistent: Create consistency in your action until you create a habit (Helpful Tip: Connect with an accountability partner)
When you make a promise that you are going to stick to something and you don’t follow through you become disappointed with yourself on multiple levels. This type of self-sabotage depletes you emotionally and energetically. Conversely, upholding the promises that you tell yourself and being firm, fair and consistent grows your confidence and allows you to know that you can depend on you! That is a beautiful thing! Your mind, body and spirit know and deeply feel this alignment and you will rapidly begin to see positive changes manifest in your life.
Similar to a child who needs loving boundaries to make their life flow smoothly, it is sometimes necessary to create parameters for your life so that you can begin to move towards creating the ideal vision for your home, body, relationships, business, health and dreams.
Can you see how being firm, fair and consistent with yourself will set you up for success? What area in your life do you feel motivated to make changes?
I am excited to hear what you have to share. As always by adding your comments below you can inspire someone else in the Home in Harmony community who wants to shift in this area.
P.S…If you have any areas in your life that you feel motivated to make changes in CLICK HERE and schedule your FREE Success By Design Session today, and let me help you get set up for success!
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